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Patient Acceptance and Unconditional Love
By Karen Vally on 21 Mar 2024
One of the questions that I ask myself every morning is, "What can I do today that will make a difference?" It comes from My Power Questions by Anthony Robbins, and is part of Session 2 of the New Insights Life Coaching Program. My answer to this question is always, "Practise patient acceptance and unconditional love."
The Buddhist monk who led the meditation class I attended 13 years ago, suggested applying these two practices as a means of navigating our daily interactions with others, more smoothly.
The ability to cultivate patient acceptance has many benefits. The greatest of all, is that it evokes a sense of ease and calmness.
"By reducing the anxiety that often comes from unmet expectations, you can attain a greater sense of inner peace."
When we practise patient acceptance, we think clearly and can therefore make wiser decisions and find more effective solutions to our challenges.
We learn to become more compassionate towards ourselves and others, which enhances the quality of our relationships. Our resilience improves and by refraining from fighting life, we can lead a more emotionally balanced life.
"By viewing things realistically rather than positively or negatively, you can make mindful resolutions, change your habits and set achievable personal goals."
Some situations in which you could apply patient acceptance could be in traffic, when those around you are upset, when you're dealing with pain or when adversity strikes. What is also helpful, is to acknowledge our feelings, to process them, to let them go and to move on. What helps most of all, is to treat ourselves with the same degree of kindness and understanding that we would offer our own best friend.
A really helpful skill is to develop a sharp sense of self-awareness. It's easy. Just observe yourself closely. Refrain from agonising about the past or worrying about the future. These two activities will erode your health and well-being. Instead, choose to zoom in regularly onto the present moment.
Feeling impatient is a common human response and patience is a skill that can be developed. What if we were to use each difficult situation as an opportunity to pause, reflect and work out what we could learn from it? When we become impatient, it is helpful to remind ourselves of our long term goals and the set of values that guide us. The calmer we feel in our minds and bodies, the easier it is to be patient with unexpected events or challenging relationships.
"The more patient we are, the more likely we are to be able to appreciate the present moment, experience joy in daily life, and find satisfaction in our relationships and activities. Cultivating patience is a stepping stone to a more fulfilling, balanced and joyful life, enabling us to experience deeper connections, greater resilience, and enhanced well-being."
The second principle that the Buddhist monk taught us, is one for which we should all strive. Since we are by nature selfish beings, it involves making a conscious decision to love others without any strings attached.
Most of us are aware of how vital it is for a child's development, to be loved unconditionally. Research confirms that the giving and receiving of love plays a vital role in our psychological well-being. However, the first step is to be able to love ourselves. Clear limits and boundaries must also be set, to ensure that the relationship is a healthy one. Let us all practise unconditional love in our families, amongst our friends and through random acts of kindness to others.
Another question from My Power Questions is this one, "What can I do to make today fantastic?" How would you answer that one?
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